i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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