Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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