i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
