I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
