Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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