Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
