Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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