Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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