I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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