let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize