She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
