Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
