im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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