I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love having hate sex.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
