She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
