i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
