Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
