wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This is the high leading the old right now
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
