the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
