i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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