I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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