I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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