Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm both gender and math confused
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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