Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
