So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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