Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
