whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize