What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
