my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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