Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
