Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
