Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
