There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
