I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
