He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize