It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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