i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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