i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
