drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
