I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
