He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize