If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
