So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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