I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize