boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
