And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
