You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
