Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
