i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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