have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize