Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Green mimosas i think yes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
