hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
