After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
