Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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