Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
