Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
