Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
