I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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