if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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