Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
