So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
