im drinking this country out of the recession.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
