she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
