all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize