Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize