She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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