Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
