SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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