your parents love me but you hate me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize