Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
